


Clues of a mute soul

by Dreamymess



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji Go to Japan, Blood and Violence, Bottom Ash Lynx, Cute Okumura Eiji, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Ash Lynx, Romantic Fluff, Top Okumura Eiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 06:09:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamymess/pseuds/Dreamymess
Summary: After Ash fakes his own death, he goes in Izumo to live with Eiji. What Eiji doesn't know is that Ash can no longer speak, what Ash doesn't know is that Eiji got himself in a big trouble.OrEiji mysteriously disappears one evening, and Ash finds a notebook with disturbing information.





	Clues of a mute soul

Ash hated being shown mercy, he always thought it was a sign of pity or misery. Even if he desired to reach out for support he never managed to forget about the demons chasing after him. His roots were running deep into Golzine's filthy acts that influenced his perspective and views.

Ash always denied to change his lifestyle. The dynamic life on the streets wasn't something that everyone can adjust to, notwithstanding, Ash built some disruptive habbits that saved him from turning into a completely submissive toy for the thirsty beasts. At some point of his life, when finding a shelter and a private place to clean the dry crimson blood soaking his clothes was like a coffee after a sleepless night, he was certain that a life rather than survival, will never exist for him. 

He was minimalist with his emotions and his approach towards others. He would have lost himself if it wasn't for his intelligence and bravery, creative ideas to develop himself freely, despite the lack of private life or freedom. For the tender age of seventeen years old, he encountered so many repulsive people that he learnt to value his peaceful moments and take care of himself. 

Not until one day he decided to do a favour to himself and go to Japan, where he could be with the only person whose arms will feel like home. Eiji.

~°~

Ash absentmindedly played with the handle of his mug, almost laughing at it in a childish manner. He cherished that gift from Eiji to death and made sure there is not a single crack on it. 

"Delicious," He thought, wrapping the blanket even tighter around his shoulders, leaving only his golden locks of hair visible. It was a pure heaven for him, ever since he escaped from his past abuse. Even in his wildest imagination, he would never even dare to dream about the peace he had right here. 

The small details of safety that surrounded him were heart melting. From the scent of woodchip and night air to the creamy mellow taste of the black tea that Eiji would prepare for him with so much love. Oddly enough, he never missed the noise of the big city, or the obnoxious smell of gun powder. A splendid opportunity for him to turn his degradating life into something meaningful, which he did thankfully to Eiji. However, everything has its price and it is sometimes too high to pay, almost like a redemption. In his case, it was something defining and vital that no longer existed. His speech. 

So much damage was caused to the stone heart of his, some final bullets and shock were a potential trigger of his voice loss. Somewhere between the shed of blood, he lost his ability. It was impossible to believe it that he was sentenced to live a life of a hunter and never be saved. He could no longer speak, which even if it happened gradually, and at the beginning he pushed himself to do so, but after living with Eiji, the other could easily understand him without him even struggling to speak. 

The door of the tiny room slides to reveal his loved one, carrying another mug in his hand. Ash's gaze of fondness made him look vulnerable, a happiness of true affection and attachment forming crystal tears in the corner of his emerald eyes to express eternal gratitude, a small victory of every breath he took. 

So much love in a broken soul. 

"It took a little bit longer than I anticipated, but i'm back." Eiji beamed at the boy curled on the floor, sitting on the tatami mat. His voice was nothing like the younger's, that resembled a sweet honey treat which was, nevertheless, an enchanted arrow that pierced his heart to bring him back to the present and keep him grounded, nothing like the deep rambling of Ash's comforting voice, that was either a threat or a deep promise. It goes for their characters too, unique combinations of traits that seemed to be worlds apart, but compatible to make each other fit like two pieces of a puzzle. 

A quiet nodding came from Ash who concentrated on the ambient sounds around him, the eerie noises of crickets and night owls, to the calming swamp and tree branches hitting each other sounds. He always feared it was silence before a thunderstorm, it sent chills of agitation and dejection down his spine, his heart felt queasy. It took over him again, memory of unspoken humiliation that makes you question your own self worth. His delirious speech was a scar of the repellent scene involving Eiji, which was fortunately, that last agonizing moment that has been haunting their nightmares for a month. His rage of not being able to say a word usually came out as a dry sob, anxiety taking over his senses and making him lose himself in the illusion of suffocating torture. 

"Ash, it will get better. I promise." Eiji said lowly, seeing the other trashing violently in his arms. It was so simple, yet complicated to cure a numb soul, to breathe some life into it and devote yourself to mutual love. The younger clenched to Eiji's baby blue pyjama, gritting his teeth and slowly digging his nails in his lover's delicate skin, the Japanese couldn't care less, all that mattered was the other, and he was an anchor to keep him steady in the cold ocean. 

"Everything is going to be okay, you don't need to talk to me to make me understand you. Give it some time." Eiji reassured, craddling Ash's head between his shoulder blades. He almost felt the other's sign against his neck, lying right over Eiji's strong and steady heartbeat which lulled him to sleep quickly. Eiji was still woeful, a overwhelming onism reached him and made him feel small under the night eternal abyss, like a distant star that mattered nothing, but was the whole sun for a lonely moon like Ash, keeping him warm from distance. 

Ash forgot that Eiji used to be athlete, but he gladly lifted him all the time, and that is what he did at that moment, after making sure Ash is in deep slumber, engulfing Eiji in a warm embrace. Wasn't it lovely? The purity fixed on his face as if he was still a kid, which usually inspired Eiji to hum one of his most favorite lullaby melodies as a child. Having a family, even if it consisted of one, was a gift from destiny that teaches you that we all will be enamored by someone's presence one day. And Eiji's presence was enough for ash to believe that every midnight wish is heard by the myriad stars, and Ash's presence was enough to prove that miracles exist. 

Eiji went out on a short night walk, it is unexpectedly quiet this evening, therefore he could have a quality time on his own. It was a fact, that both of them respected their privacy, one of the million reasons why they madly adored each other, clinginess was an unknown word in Eiji's dictionary, but true lover is this one who never gets too far away. 

Backstreets of his not well recognised town called Izumo, were a real utopia for night owls. In addition to the fresh air that filled Eiji's lungs, the inky void above his head gave him peace, that every secret told, will stay between the night hours and him. 

He made his way warily down a narrow street of complete gloom and pitch blackness. The wind violently hit his face, swinging one of the hanging laterns outside a closed cafe. He was nearly one of the magnificent parks in the whole area, a quiet place to name your own stars and constellations, feeling protected by their faith light, as if they are flames of hope, a melancholic, poignant sign of the passing time. 

He leaned back on the cool grass, eyes looking with curiosity up at the studded with fairy lights midnight blackness, the moon hovering from above, moonlight gently throwing shadow over his forehead. For a brief moment he saw a shooting star, silence accompaning the genuine moment between him and the moon reigning over the whole earth. A infuriating half grin of complement appeared on his face as he closed his eyes, muttering under his breath.

"Make my soul stay forever with his." He said with a shaky voice, realizing that no one will hear him, heart shattering at the sight that appeared in his head. He almost sobbed, salty tears rolling down his cheek and on the dew covered grass, lips shivering with anxiety and deeply placed scars of fear that no night sky could comprehend, no darkness could devour, no artist could draw, no words could describe, no stars could warm up. Fear is indeed, the oldest and more strong emotion of the mankind. 

He stared at the perfection of the night scanery, the little, almost invisible craters of the moon, the mystifying whispers of the distant stars, the oddly warm presence of the puffy clouds, hiding part of the vague constellations. He enjoyed the peace and felt safe, perhaps, that was the miracle of this dazzling view, that never judges, it makes you forget. It makes you forgive likewise. It makes you dance under the thousand planets, making you wonder, if you can actually become one, a graceful star or the whole moon, and shine over the earth with wisedom. 

1:48 am. 

He checked the time before reluctantly getting up on his feet, drawing out all the little grass pieces on his sweater before walking back to his way, a melody of solitude playing inside his head as he ignored the echoing of him stepping over the cobble stone old fashioned path between two abandoned buildings, hazy clouds covering the dazzling vision of the silver moon. Late walks like this one, could benefit his sleep, but also let him vent everything. 

"If I had that power, I would have taken all your nightmarish moments, and give you wings so we could be stronger, flying like you always dreamt us to." Eiji thought, softly smiling under the moonlight. Who could have assumed that someone as devoted and kind-hearted like him, had a shelter of dark emotions within his initial positivity? He felt insignificant, frightened to death. 

As if he couldn't see the stars for a while, or the signs of a muted heart.

~°~

It was an adorable habbit that Eiji possessed, to make sure Ash knew he was his first priority, and always wait for him to wake up by stroking his hair which he admired greatly. It was a bliss for Ash, to wake up from a slumber, and see the dark chocolate iris staring at him with a fond smile of lovesickness, gaze full of unconditional love, a silent pinkie promise for loyalty and security, it was a gift that both treasured, after surviving the worst. The soundless footsteps Eiji had, the click of the spoon as he prepared Ash his favorite tea, the moonless darkness making his face shine through the night. 

But now Eiji wasn't here, which immediately made the other uneasy, his heart racing from pure fear that the same story could have happened. He has never been more helpless, dependable on someone with his life. He was desperately attempting to scrounge a few hours of sleep, but Eiji's lack of presence quickly made him curl in bed, staring at the faith light from a half sickle moon coming through the window, luminous eyes piercing the night gloom like a sword dipped in poison. Man shall never cry, his father repeated that a soft heart in a world of destruction and rotten humans. 

He stayed in a cold crack of solitude, legs spreading down the wrinkled sheets as he bit his bottom him to swell. To his recollection, it was a vague memory of a disturbing, stomach churning view of the most innocent human he ever knew, being in the most repulsive torture ever known to the Mafia. They had no mercy over him. The silence was deafening, everyone became deaf for his screaming heart. No one could hear it anymore. 

But what life can serve and push us to encounter when we are aren't even ready to think about it mortify even our deepest demons. Ash looked at the half opened window, branches knocked on the glass accompanied with the relaxing sound of the light rain. The apricot color will bloom, and Eiji promised him that they will see it together. He never broke that promise. 

~°~

The door opened widely revealing a Japanese man in his middle fifties, wearing a wool sweater, his glasses fogged as always. He almost yelped in surprise as he saw the younger at the door, giving him a quick sign to come inside. 

Hisato-san was Ash's phychotherapist and a family friend of the Okumura family. Extremely sympathetic and kind man who had the talent to see through people's intentions and use inventive approaches to let them release their darkest secrets and pain. Phlegmatic, yet not apathetic towards others. What a phychologist should be. 

He knew Eiji ever since he was a little boy and was like an old uncle for him. He better than anyone else in the family knew the details around Eiji's travelling to America and was the one to understand the best. Eiji wasn't as reserved to him and would always share, which made him like a father figure and son. In fact, they resembled each other to some extend, pure example was how much of a night owls they are. And whilst the younger would take a long walk in the backstreets of the town, Hisato-san had more calming hobbies, like reading phylosophy books until late night. Eiji knew it was an appropriate moment for him to ask the older something, ever since he saw the lamp in the living room on from the street. 

"Eiji, that was really unanticipated, is something wrong?" He inquired with curiosity. This is one of the rare times when Eiji could open up to somebody, he was indeed an absolute introvert and strictly minding his own business, notwithstanding there was something he had to admit. And that 'thing' was a secret between them that he could no longer keep. 

" I'm really sorry about the late hour Hisato-san, I actually had something in my mind recently, I'm inclined to think that you will keep it private between us." He said abruptly, which caused the older to laugh cheerfully. 

"Phychotherapists always keep the information confidential, don't forget that." He reminded. "Would you like something to drink?" He offered politely making their way to the little table next to the window. 

"Hibiscus or tea, no agave, honey or extra sugar, please." Eiji said with a sign, sitting on the mat floor with his hands resting on his legs. 

"Sour as always." The elder laughed. "But I have only white tea, if that's okay." Eiji hurried to nod, barely keeping his eyes opened from drowsiness. 

This place has always been quite atmospheric, Eiji thought. It was an old style apato, Hisato made sure it isn't bare, so he kept all of his belongings here, mainly books from human behavior, phychology or his other appetence, old criminal novels. Eiji was drawn to the mystifying dusty shelves covered with books or the candle the other kept by the window, in comparison to the mist engulfed scenery outside, it felt rather cozy.   
The older prepared a plain bitter coffee for himself, sitting right in front of the boy, the sound of writing over paper calmed Eiji, as he prepared to talk. 

"I'm still perplexed that you came here so late. I would never refuse your company Eiji, however, what on the earth made you wander outside at midnight. Somehow unusual." He asked and take a sip from his coffee, wax melting down and almost getting on the book pages. 

" How is Ash?" Hisato-san hesitated, he was almost certain that Eiji wasn't here just to randomly ask about the therapy. 

" The therapy is going well, its very promising that Ash will regain his ability to speak soon. Nevertheless, have you considered making at appointment with an actual doctor-" 

"That is not what I was talking about, Hisato-san." Eiji retorted quickly, staring into the whitish warm beverage in his hands. "I'm afraid that there is something behind the whole case that I never had to courage to say. I really need some help regarding that." The elder took of his glasses, sunking into further puzzlement. Eiji's confession might reveal things that no one should know. 

"Can you enlighten me, Eiji, what happened? Does it have to do something with... What we did and hid from Ash. " Eiji remained quiet, observing every little movement from the night void outside, relaxing enough to speak. Eiji appeared to be serene, positive soul that could show you beauty in the most rotten place of our society, yet he somehow learnt to be more stoic even aloof. 

"When I came here, my parents already acted skeptical and never looked at me the same way as before. I felt the way Ash has always been. Ibe-san got sick quickly after that, especially after i considered going back there. It all began when I saw a message that the notorious Ash Lynx has died in a library. " Eiji swallowed dryly, limp getting stuck on the back of his throat, traumatic distress on his pale face.   
" He wasn't dead. I knew he wasn't because of a phone message i got a few hours later, brief but clear, and then I knew... " He made a quick pause. 

"... That Ash is faking his death." He said with utter relief as if he was running back to these memories. " Ash was alive and hiding in New York, that was enough for me to know that he was safe and sound, at least for now, however, he would never give up to ruin everyone who are after him, he didn't want just to survive, he aspired to bring back all the justice that missed. He would never leave something undone, not my Ash. " Eiji whispered with a trembling voice, making the older's hands clammy, his breath hitch with both terror and desire to get more of the story. 

"Eiji, what happened after you borrowed my computer." Hisato said. 

"Then..." Eiji was numb. "I interfered in a way I shouldn't have." 

Eiji leaned against the chair, and something stopped him from talking, something like a thick rusty needle sew his mouth shut and let his heart hammer furiously. 

"Shall we say that you found a way to bring to Ash here in Japan, which is utterly confusing you, whether it was right or not?" Eiji nodded slowly. 

"Yes. I really wish I could tell you more, Hisato-san, but you have other responsibilities plus it really is too late. It isn't something that requires your attention." The other took off his glasses, refilling his mug with the smokey coffee, taking a steady breath.   
"Whatever I did, what is important is that you shouldn't mention for that case to Ash at any cost, its something he must know from me. "

"You Okumura Eiji is a complete mystery. " He said. "And still resemble Ash so much in this situation, he is extra reserved too when it comes to personal matters." Right then, Eiji stood up and went slowly to the door. 

"You mentioned that we should find a doctor for Ash's condition." He turned facing the older. "Does it mean that you won't be a therapist anymore." Eiji asked, but was met with uncertain shrug. 

"Tell me now, Eiji. What costed you to get Ash back here?" 

"Meeting a rival's brother from the past. And my whole sanity."

~°~

There is something about the old style gardens in every Japanese house, that are astoundingly nostalgic, yet beautiful. Eiji haven't got any chance to enjoy the cool freshness of the morning air resently, but that morning was an opportunity for him to reconsider every idea and memory that popped in his head last night. He was still guilty for leaving Ash to sleep alone, without telling him about visiting Hisato-san, and frankly said he had no idea that he would visit him either. 

Puffy clouds were hiding the still vague form of the moon, slowly disappearing from the pastel sapphire sky, everything smelled like rain and warmth, as if it was already spring and the colors of long anticipated hope and peace will bloom. 

After a momemt of intense reverie, Eiji was brought back by Ash's gentle back hug, breathing into Eiji's neck, arms loosely wrapped around the older's torso. 

"You are seriously just like a kitten. No wonder you almost purr when I brush your hair at night." Eiji admitted his habbit of physical affection, even though, there are so many more that he developed. Clear example is when he makes the same gestures, just like Ash when reading, he was so fixed on the expression of curiosity and knowledge the other had, every time when it wasn't replaced by a dispassionate glare of concentration. Another case was when Ash learnt to not get startled by the lightest night sounds of passing cars or people talking outdoors. An expression of anxiety and paranoia would turn his peaceful face into a ghost pale sheet, gasping for breath as he would always reach to the night stand to grab something in defense. 

Apprehension would make him sick as he apologizes in his mind constantly, that one day everything might return. The worst scenario was that he will be used a sex toy and lose his final chances to be an independent human, or even more horrifying, that they will lay their hands on the most precious person he had. 

Japan wasn't as unfamiliar as he thought, the prefecture where Eiji lived was by some means isolated, however, that only reassured the blonde that they will be a night shadow in the whole country, invisible for the enemy. The soft Japanese mattress which initially seemed weird for him, was now his favorite thing to lay on, staring at the midnight abyss, spoiling his lungs with the unsophisticated scent of forest and wild creeks, listening to the soothing sound of the crickets. He was bewitched by the mystifying and twisted history of that place, especially by Eiji's childhood memories here. 

That is why he decided to look for a photo album last night, unfortunately he stumbled upon something completely unexpected. 

A pocket notebook. 

"Ash, are you mad that I left last night?" Eiji questioned seeing the other trying to avoid eye contact. Those jade green orbs of secrets and unspoken repugnance, were now looking at the only person Ash trusts, and see through him as if he sinned. 

"Ash.." Eiji said softly, staring at the other's slightly wet hair after shower and darkening expression. "What is going on?" 

Ash pulled the black notebook on the short table, looking at it with contempt. Eiji gulped, closing his eyes to take a steady breath. He reluctantly opened it, hands shakily picking the pictures inside of it, placing them carefully over it. The pages weren't filled with many information, mainly the first ten or twenty ones, everything suspicious was over the pictures which showed people that Ash never wished to remember. Pictures of Yut Lung, his step brother sing and the pathetic Lao who tried to stab him, as well as pictures of intimidating faces, that he has never heard of, reminding of natural criminals or escaped prizoners. 

His face was yelling at Eiji mentally to tell him as soon as possible what all of this means. Eiji leaned on the chair, forming his words precisely. 

"Probably the most irrational decision I have ever made was to return in Japan, especially not being sure that you are safe. When I came here, Ibe-san showed me a new on the internet that was like a bullet in the heart. The most notorious teenager was stabbed and found in a library, and that is when Ibe-san tried to convince me that this is the reality, but bo one ever stated clearly that you are dead. Maybe in critical condition, but not dead. " 

Eiji stopped for a moment, just to find out that Ash's face is just like before, a machine of logic and tricks. A plain sheet of no emotion, a cold and protective expression, about to take the next hit of destiny. He decided to continue, even if that was the longest story he has ever told. 

"Perhaps it was when I released that I was capable to seek revenge." He said clenching his fists, which made Ash flinch, opening his mouth slightly as he heard something so strongly vindictive to come out Eiji's mouth. 

"You don't understand Ash. The one who saw right through me and never doubted me for a brief moment, who would give his life in a heartbeat just to keep me away from it, it was you Ash. And I wanted to show them that i'm your right hand." Eiji recalled with anger the vicious words of Yut Lung, that he will not be enough for Ash. Ever. 

"This is when I came with the most absurd and badly organized plan against them. And since Ibe-san was no longer in it, I contacted Hisato-san, he has always been a friend of my family, they in fact rely on him if i ever need something. The truth is, I immediately went to him and remembered something that Shorter... That Shorter told me while we were kept as hostage.

Ash's eyes widened with shock, eager to hear more, he felt extremely helpless that he didn't know a thing about what happened to Eiji while he was faking his own death. He nodded slightly, staring at the mess in front of him, the mess he created over someone's innocence. The mess that turned those warming and caring depth of Eiji's eyes, into an insecure and traumatized gaze of painful recollections. 

"Shorter told me about Yut Lung's family relationships, and gave me some names. I wasn't convinced that this will help, but with a lot of research I managed to find some people in China from the Lee family, who were currently in Japan." Eiji stopped, taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the glare Ash gave him, but it was already making him uneasy. "If you wonder how, Ibe-san is a popular journalist, so It was pretty easy for us to discover the web of Lee brothers, running different businesses around Asia. Can you believe it? While some of his brothers were running the real mafia in Asia, he was hiding like a coward in Chinatown in New York!" Eiji stated, limp forming at the back of his throat. 

"They received a very interesting email from me..."

"Banana fish." 

~°~

Flashback 

He stayed sleepless two nights after sending the email, almost like an ill figure that didn't have any food or water, staring at the ceiling with despair. It was his silent prayer that someone will hear his numbness and may rise him power. 

He prayed that the God living in Ash will keep his heart beating. 

Unexpectedly, Hisato-san called him at four in the morning, telling him that a disturbing mail has appeared on his computer. Eiji's facial muscles tensed, as he quickly ran to the therapist's house. The intriguing addition to the email was a virus that was most likely spying the whole system of the computer, however, they considered it beforehand and used a computer with no extra information. The mail was short and clear, it stated an address on the territory of Japan that Eiji should go to. 

How frightening it was that someone already knew about their location or even relationship with banana fish. 

Eiji didn't send a fake new, nor his arguments were tenuous. 

Not at all. 

Before a while when Ash used a hacking software, at their first encounter with Yut Lung, he got a copy of the files on a flash card, which he kept private until now. It wasn't very surprising, that he gave that information to Eiji, where it will stay a secret. The file password he gave in the anonymous email as "Banana fish", explaining the situation with the drug and their youngest brother being involved. From now on, there were only two different outcomes. The first situation was more likely to occur, that they will either not pay attention to that or not contact their brother, and yet, Eiji had photographs of all disturbing events, and could manipulate them to expose those pictures to the press, mentioning their name and their relative in Chinatown. It was purely a method to manipulate them and ruin their name by using the mess their younger brother created. 

The second one was a little bit more risky, but it was all worth it if Eiji could provide the security he promised to Ash. If they found him, he will make sure that everyone who turned Ash's life in hell and who ignited his dignity will soon disappear and let Ash live a normal life,no matter where he is. 

The mail was stating a date and a place, which Eiji immediately set to, even if he was stopped by Hisato-san, who explained he no longer had opportunity to take responsiblity for him. And honestly, Eiji was sick of it. Ash always tried to make him go back to Japan, while Ibe-san underestimated him till he was out of everything. But he was a thunder in the scariest forests he was braver and smarter, not as naive as he used to be. He had something to fight for. Ash. 

The next memory that appeared in his head was the moment he walked on the backstreets of a famous area in different city. He was cautious, even if he already assumed what is going to follow for him. But he never forgot the vow of protection he gave, the sweet words of devotion that his soul shed over the wrinkled piece of paper. Wherever Ash is, Eiji knew that this time, he will be the strong one. 

His clothes were pretty casual, eyes half opened from the pressuring fatigue. He was in way using the same humiliating clothing he did the last time in Chinatown where Arthur found him. 

He instantly spotted a car parked weirdly in the middle of the street, man in suits looking at each other with puzzlement as he approached them. They took off the car, walking at him, evidently armed. One of them made a quick attempt to punch him in the face, nevertheless Eiji was agile enough to catch his hand and make him stumble, bringing him to the ground. That didn't guarantee anything and he was at the next moment on the ground, hearing a loud thud before everything went black. 

He wasn't unconscious for long before he felt his hair violently pulled, forcing him to look at a man sitting on a leather couch. The Chinese had a massive scar engraving his half face, part of his eyebrow missing, sliding down his chin. Small eyes of insidious cunning intentions made him shiver. He was certain now, that this isn't the man he wanted to speak with. His lips trembled with anxiety, vision still blurry. He had to think of something, before his end here. 

"I see you are the little punk who has been messing around where he doesn't belong." An echoing click of a little spoon mixing the sugar he literaly poured into the cup in front of him brought Eiji back to reality. If that wasn't someone from the Lee family, who the hell was he? 

" I don't think you deserve a second chance to be set free, sweetheart." He whispered with a deeply deformed and raspy tone, lightening a cigarette. "Our protege in America actually did a better job than expected, especially with a beautiful new antique like you in our collection." He nonchalantly spoke.

Eiji's little heart cleanched painfully in his chest making him unable to yelp. He didn't regret for a moment, he had to figure this out, as soon as he calmed down in front of the authority presense. The man opened a notebook, writing something with an inky pen, completely switching off the presence of someone tied. 

"Let me inform you something, Okumura Eiji. Your email was such a tricky trap for your innocence. Bold of you to make an assumption that my brother who is a busy man will ever care to know about Yut Lung's existence. I'm the one with spyware on his computer, so I immediately knew about your funny attempts." 

"Aren't you his brother?" Eiji asked, twitching around to release himself. 

"He doesn't have only one, little faggot. Use your brain more. He is the youngest who has no relationship with his parents, furthermore, he has step brothers, like the pathetic kid Sing that recently found him. He has other brothers too, we are a pretty big trouble." He chewed on his words. Big trouble? Like Eiji haven't already noticed. 

"Oh yeah, the one who Yut Lung blackmailed?" This statement indeed catched the old man's attention over the tied boy. 

"I don't care much about my brother. I told you, neither me, nor my other relatives have any connection to him. You got yourself in here and moreover gave me an interesting recipe for a drug. Pitiful attempt of a brainless kid to save his probably dead friend-"

"Don't you fucking say a word for him! " Eiji yelled this time, biting his tongue and letting his weight shift to both of his knees, back soaking with sweat. That was emotionally devastating, 

"Your affords are futile, sweetheart." He walked with heavy steps to Eiji, lifting his chin, pulling his hair tightly to claim dominance, a gesture that made the other release a whimper of discomfort and pain. "You got the wrong brother. Without any help from someone, you will just be my treasure, like your little slutty boyfriend used to." 

Eiji couldn't take the vulgar words thrown at Ash, so he bit the older's hand. It made him full of satisfaction as his jaw clenched to tear off the skin, making the older instinctively kick his victim in the ribs. The sharp pain made Eiji stumble and fall on his back, hands still tied. 

"Say one more thing for Ash, and you will be six feet under the ground. I swear." Eiji said, a welted bruise darkening his eye. The man only laughed, the maniacal type of infuriating smirk that makes you lose faith in human's dignity. Eiji was in deep and he had no scheme for escape, yet he didn't want to give up. 

A trace of remorse made his face go in complete horror as the other squeezed his bleeding scar and drank the blood from the cup he had on his desk earlier. Eiji was utterly repulsed, eyes widening as he looked away nauseated. His body was aching, not enough to drain him completely, but the pain for constant and sickening. Without having an idea what they planned to do, he collected his words cautiously before speaking. 

"If you don't have the goods to face your little brother, why would your other relatives take action to stop him. I mean, its an irony that you are deciding on keeping slaves in here, the same way Yut Lung was used as a little toy by Golzine." Eiji said with no hesitation or doubt. His response, however, was met with a loathesome grimace on the man's face, which was a horrifying sign of the torture that was about to happen. 

"You indeed have a sharp tongue. We could actually work well together." He said laughing lowly. "I am not certain why my brothers consider Yut Lung for a sworn enemy, he pretty much managed to get a higher rank in society, something that none of you did." He said chewing on his burning cigarette. 

"You are envious." Eiji retorted with a wrathful smile. 

"What?" The man said, taking a glance at the kneeling boy, who had no other purpose, but to keep his most important person safe, no matter what. 

"You envy your little brother so much that you actually can't stand against him. I wonder why though. Maybe you have a desire to follow his steps of a cheap prostitute. " it wasn't like Eiji to let something so vulgar to slip out of his mouth, furthermore, it wasn't like him to lose self control over a situation. 

" Ash taught you to speak like this? Guess the little punk was worthless anyway. " 

" Don't say a thing about him." Eiji retorted with fiercely deep voice, struggling to get closer to the little fire place in the room. The man approached him closely, and just now Eiji could see the ugly vision of abuse in his cunning gaze. He kneeled down, clenching Eiji's jaw in his bigger hand, forcing him to look in his eyes. His breath stinks like raw mint and smoke plus some cheap alcohol. 

"And what are you going to do then?" He smirked, lip tracing over Eiji's bruised one. Eiji lost it. 

This is when the rope Eiji was tied with completely burnt because he got close enough to press a flaming coal from the little fire place to it. In the next moment, he was free from it, jumping on his shaky legs and going behind the desk, grabbing the lighter from next to the ashtray, lightening it immediately to fire a candle. 

"Seems like you ran out of ideas samurai boy." He said in Chinese. "Seems like you are gonna pray for your little friend." 

Eiji however smiled evilly, because that man was right, Ash taught him some stuff. He skillfully threw the candle with the burning end towards the older, who didn't react on time. It was pierced between his eyes, burning his remaining hair, wax steaming down his distorted and ugly face. Eiji then ran out of the room, but quickly regretted it as two man caught him off guard. 

"Take him to the dungeon. Have some fun with him but leave him to me. I want to have some fun." Before Eiji could yell a punch was served to his face making him lose consciousness, the last thing he saw were the flames from the other's face, as it got charred in his memory. 

He could analyze the situation even in his dream, which was incredibly surprising. From time to time he would see Ash laughing at him or calling him onii-chan. It was such a cliche, such a vexatious habbit of his, but it made Eiji's heart warm, ensuring him that inside the cold shell, Ash hid a flawless soul, as colorful as a spring garden, as mysterious as a night forest, as deep as the pacific ocean. 

"A-Ash.." He woke up with a groan as he felt something getting stuck to his skin, almost making it bleed. He opened his eyes reluctantly and somehow expected to be in Ash's hands. Bigger than his, slender yet stern fingers that could comb his hair perfectly. Warm mouth of love, glowing eyes as the cool moonlight. 

"The little prince woke up." Unfamiliar voice said. Eiji then realised he was tied on a rusty table, a steaming wax burning his exposed skin, cuts covering his torn shirt. It would be a miracle if he could get out of here. The adrenaline was too overwhelming for him to sense any sort of pain, the shame of being touched all over by the tough and dirty hands of someone was making his chest tight. 

Then the nightmare began for him. One of the guys used his hands to unzip his pants, touching his abused skin shamelessly. Eiji struggled, revolted and anxious, his started violently shaking, stuttering, unable to form his word. 

"What are you.. What are you doing?!" He protested against the man who was already biting on the sore wax covered skin, making it bleed. "I said stop. You have no right!" Eiji made a poor attempt to speak as cool chills got down his whole body, a wet tongue on his chest, the smell of uncleaned and human underground basement filling his senses. He now realized that he couldn't beat even an underground asshole. Ash would have been disappointed. 

The other man pulled his hair frantically, spitting on the ground. Eiji's stomach was already queasy. He now knew the feeling of intense repugnance, of horror and dread that spead faster than blood in water. His body jolted as he felt a burning cigarette being rubbed in his skin, which felt itchy, then burning. He prayed that this will be over soon. 

"Seems like he is loud." The man smirked. "I will make him shut up." 

Eiji then realized that the man pulled a loaded gun in his mouth, almost making him gag on it, the taste of gunpowder overwhelming his senses, his blood rushing through his veins. He tried to wiggle away, but it was worthless. He was half naked now, the other guy working him with him fingers. Disgusting and utterly humiliating. Eiji couldn't keep his voice down. It cracked as he yelled again, feeling his blood getting dry over the table, eyes fixed on the ceiling. After a brief moment he relaxed, as if it was Ash who held his still hand. A muted soul that left no clues, the most remarkable person who was like a song with no end. Eiji almost smiled with relief. And then the mezzle hit the back of his throat with a click, making him whine in agony. His thighs were swollen, now seeing a shadow over him, adjusting his hips. He wanted to forget. Struggling he got a knife pressed to his throbbing neck a hit from a collar served on his ripped skin. He was paralyzed as his skin turned into reddening flesh, so much agony that he could puke, tears soaking his eyelashes, and it was almost impossible for him to remain calm. 

Then the handcuffs opened, the guy hovering above him laughed. Eiji rushed to grab the knife hanging from his jeans, pointing it protectively at the other's face. He was breathless, mortified and scared to death, but now he couldn't move, he was numb. 

"You can't even kill for him. You have always been the pray." The man whispered in his ear, grabbing the knife back to instinctively try to stab him. They were unmoved by their grievous sin, by the screaming of the other. The cave like sounds of rats running around and water soaking the humid monotonous walls faded as Eiji could no longer endure the humiliation and pain, he closed his eyes. Blackness made his lungs crash, no lomger able to keep awake. If he could only have a moment with Ash again, if he could see him at the door. 

It was the end, perhaps he will see heaven. Or maybe Ash. He had no idea whether Ash was alive or not. He was naked while two guys were beating the life out of him. It wasn't a rape anymore, it was not even close to it. It was a pure sadistic act of two monsters. Ash, what have you been through. 

Eiji saw light. 

Literally. 

The huge door in front of him opened widely, revealing a chinese smartly dressed man, who pulled the trigger of his weapon mercilessly. The two figures torturing Eiji fell on the ground lifeless, and Eiji only curled further, lips dry, body wrenched. Miracles do exist. 

The man respectfully covered his body of guilt and shame with a blanket, reaching to shake his shoulders. In the edge of his power, Eiji recognised the straight raven black hair. A miracle that gave him another chance. It was Yut Lung'a real brother. The right one he searched for at the beginning. 

"I'm sorry..." 

Eiji opened his eyes again, barely moving from soreness. He was sitting on the leather couch in one if the rooms, and was fast to pull away as he felt his cold bare body under the covers. It felt oddly safe, the whole atmosphere of this kind of old fashioned maze was a little bit more acceptable, even the burning candles on the wall seemed warming and somehow welcoming. 

"Eiji!" A voice he recognised said, and then he focused on the vague form in front of him. The sparkle in his chocolate brown iris recuperated, the rosy tone of his cheeks was regained. He couldn't believe that he survived. His roots ran deep enough for him to stay steady on the ground, the little faith helped him fight it. He didn't lay a finger or the guy even if he could, not because he wasn't capable of killing, but because as he once said, recklessness doesn't always mean bravery. 

"Ibe-san.." He mumbled. "How.." 

"Thankfully to him you were saved." He pointed at the man the black, who was in details cleaning his weapon. 

"Okumura Eiji? I'm the Lee brother who you tried to contact with, unfortunately, I have been serving to the authorities for long years, and Ibe didn't get a reliable source of information." He said, pointing at Ibe-san. 

"It was Hisato, not me!" He complained. "What matters is that we found you, Eiji. Hisato contacted me after youbwere missing for the whole day, and this is when I was found by the right Lee brother, who system was blocked too. We searched where this scumbag could have hidden you." 

"Banana... Fish..." Eiji mumbled as loud as he could, a raspy cough clenching his throat. 

"What did you say?" The man hurried to look at Eiji's wrecked expression, a hint of struggle for him to comprehend what he meant showed. As a matter of fact, Banana fish can't be possibly explained, until you don't see the destructive results with your own eyes. Eiji thought that he had no right to complain about the death of Shorter or even his brief experience with Griffin, nonetheless, the had a full right to share Ash's pain, because it was the worst tactic Arthur could use to express his hatred. Ash was heartbroken, but never spoke about it, and Eiji was gullible, apologetic, ashamed of the mess that formed like a burst of a black hole and hurt them to the point where they couldn't even share each other's anguish and torment. 

Eiji could still see the primal and animalistic effect of the drug over Shorter's body, and regrettably, he could hear the distant cry of Ash's petrified voice. It was the most painful and heart breaking memory of his life. 

"What do you exactly know about banana fish?" The man questioned slowly, seeing the tiredness under Eiji's eyes. 

"That is the file I sent to your brother. I thought the right person would receive it and this wouldn't have happened." Eiji admitted with defeat. "To be frank with you, I'm in no way sure what banana fish was, but I can ensure that it lead to the death of innocent people. This whole conspiracy involves your younger brother." Eiji said quietly, focused on his dirty, decorated with dried crimson blood hands. 

"Yut Lung?" The man inquired calmly. 

"Yes." Eiji nodded. "Not only does he sold his body to one of the most feared and notorious mafia old man's, but your other brother, Lao, hurt a beloved one of mine." Eiji suddenly said earnestly. 

"How am I supposed to help from here?" 

"Well, I hope you realize that all the materials me and Ibe-san own from our stay there are enough to expose the Lee family and the dirty business of your castaway brothers." He responded. "How will this influence your career as a worker for the authority? Wasn't that the whole reason why he was isolated from the rest?" Eiji said trying to provoke him. He learnt to play that terrible game, well enough. 

"There isn't much I could do, but I suppose you've got a point..." He admitted. "I will make sure to send people to take care of them. I can't let them to just continue this terror. If it isn't about the reputation of the Lee family, its about a dirty trick Yut Lung did to our family." Eiji clenched his jaw. He was lucky enough to have proofs and pictures and the whole case documented. How much could have been avoided if they acted on time. 

" Eiji. " The man said again." Don't get your hands dirty, we will make sure to take care of them properly." He reassured. Eiji signed deeply. Was it over? Still he had all the materials that he could keep in case. He carefully placed everything in a black pocket notebook, that he will keep for long. 

"Eiji.. Let's take you home." Ibe suggested with a sympathetic smile, patting the other's shoulder. Eiji remained sleepless the next nights, staring for shooting stars over the natural blackness of the night there in Izumo. Stars reminded him of fairy lights decorating the distant universe, accompanied with the looming moon, shyly peeking from the tall trees. 

"You are free Ash.. You soul is as frail and delicate as the grace of a luminescent butterfly, who can now fly. Fly, and find yourself. Run... But always keep me in your mind.." Eiji sobbed loudly, hand clenching the glass, tears soaking the cold lonely bed. 

~°~

The color of Ash's face drained quickly, his mouth was opened but no yell could came out of it. Panic and unexplainable terror sucked his breath and sent him into the most realistic nightmare he has ever encountered. A blood stripe steamed down Eiji's neck, his vision went black as he heard his trobbing pulse, blocking him from hearing anything but his own pain. 

Eiji quickly noticed that Ash's legs were giving out beneath him, he was in a state of panic, puffs of rapid breaths coming out of his mouth, jade green eyes glowing with bitter tears. He gritted his teeth, unable to proceed how he almost lost what helped him survive. 

"Ash.." Eiji reacted to take him to the bedroom leaving the sliding door to the little garden opened. "A few days after this, a received a new that Yut Lung has died in an accident with his followers. No details.." Ash gripped Eiji's shirt even more, trashing and shivering like a leaf under a freezing hail. 

Eiji then recalled the most vital moment in the whole story. 

" A few days later, i received a call and it was the most mellow, still filled with mischief and wit tone that I love. It was you Ash. Then I knew you were alive, and it was a matter of time for us to... Be together." Eiji smiled. 

Ash however still couldn't even comprehend what was happening, looking back at the notebook left on the table outdoors. Tears were now soaking Eiji's shirt, as Ash was jolting and still shaking with fear and doubts. 

" They won't get us anymore Ash. I swear. You have my word that even if the world turn on you, I will be your shelter." Eiji mumbled softly, rubbing calming circles on Ash's back, which made him unbelievably comfortable and relaxed. He traced his fingers through the gold locks, seeing so much innocence and natural intelligence, charisma and strong personality, that he wanted to have all of it. 

"It will get better... Take your time to accept it, I know it hurts, but i'm here." Eiji said with a fond chuckle, taking the other'a rougher and wider hand in his own to stroke it, while Ash was lying in his lap, eyes focused with a stern and even intimidating glare he owned. 

He took a piece of paper, stabilizing his breathing, and wrote. 

"What happened to the Lee who did this to you. Is he dead?" Ash wrote calmly and showed it to Eiji, who was sitting on bed, while the other had his knees pressed to his chest on the floor. 

"Why is it always about death, Ash? What matters is the present result. " Eiji stated, wrinkling his nose in irritation. "You had to see yourself when you came in Japan, though! You forgot about the bad boy reputation quickly. I have never seen you more curious and thirty for knowledge, yet you never let your guard down.." Eiji pointed, thinking about it. Ash observed the other's face and then wrote. 

"Where did they touch you? Which parts of your body?" Ash wrote. The sudden thought od Eiji's torture, the angelic smile and softness of his touch being involved in the most dangerous and ugly plans. Being all ruined. It will end hin alive with guilt. 

"Almost everywhere." Eiji said lowly, curling into a ball. "I don't think it will ever wash... Do you?" 

At this statement, Ash gripped on the sheets and made a deep sign. It was his fault, or at least that is what he believed, and no rage, no hunger for revenge and blood could fix the craving for justice. He was upon disappointed. But the thought of someone else touching what was his, without Eiji's consent, sent chills of anger and grief to his racing heart. 

He quickly stood, sitting back in bed, lifting Eiji's chin and stroking his messy wavy hair before connecting their lips in a sweet kiss of pure bliss. Eiji instantly blushed at the wetness and overpowering warmth of Ash's skilled lips and tongue exploring his own, big hands holding his face still, body pressed to his thumpy heart. 

"Ash..." Eiji almost moaned, deepening the kiss, tongues wrestling, sloppy sounds of intimacy sounded through the room. Eiji hesitated, but then wrapped his hands around Ash's neck, whilst the other had a tight grip around Eiji's waist, lifting his shirt, curious for the heat within. It was so sensual that Eiji thought that every bad memory, even if it continued forever, was worth it to kiss someone who you could belong to. 

Ash managed to find a few little scars, piercing Eiji's back, almost resembling cat scratches, but surrounded with a fresh circles of burned cigarette, rubbed agonizingly into it. Ash closed his eyes, extremely grateful for the one in his arms. Under no circumstances, should he allow something like this to happen again. He protectively hugged the other as a sign that he isn't leaving, as a sign that he still could pull a gun and protect him in a bloody gunshot scene. 

Ash pulled after a moment, pecking Eiji's corner of his puffy, swollen lips, staring into the wide eyes of dark comfort and fragile sensitivity. He stroke gently Eiji's cheek, leaning close to kiss his lips again, as if they were the most addictive drug. Something choked him, it didn't give him peace. 'No one will take you away, Eiji. I won't allow it."

"Don't do that look. Its still scary. And intense." Eiji muttered. Ash wasn't a simple person, he had so many fragments of his personality, a dominating sense of logic, a hugry spirit for freedom, the wings Ash created in his childhood dreams, and like a fairy light he would see the pain from above.   
He never hesitated to pull the trigger, maybe he still wouldn't. 

Being with Ash is like shaking hands with an angel, while dancing on a seductive music with the devil. He skillfully grabbed Eiji's heart with his noteworthy features and extraordinary presence. It would still send a cherry blush to Eiji's cheeks and sooth him with the deep ramble in his voice. Ash was a contrast of silly giggling teenager and an intellectual gang leader. 

"I know you could easily get that information from Hisato-san, but I know I'm confidant. You can trust me with your life Ash. I promise I have grown stronger." Eiji said and nuzzled into the collarbones of the other, pecking his jaw and obediently leaning into his touch and stronger embrace. 

Ash grabbed the piece of paper, writing again. 

"Never do anything like this again. You could have lost your life." Ash wrote while furrowing his eyebrows, disappointment making his face sadden.   
"I wouldn't forgive myself." He wrote in addition, sitting on bed with his knees pressed to his chest, tears forming in his already puffy eyes. 

Eiji quickly embraced him lovingly. 

"It will get better, Ash. As long as you remember that I won't leave your side, we will be alright. That is our place here, no one else's." Eiji smiled reassuringly, blushing as the other hugged him to his chest again, where Eiji could sense the strong heartbeat against his frantic one, the evocative scent of softness and protection, the stern glassy shine of his currently closed eyes, Eiji felt like he was home. 

'it will be Eiji, as long as you can forgive me. But I won' t be able to close my eyes in peace knowing about this, not until I don't get details for the story myself. Even if it isn't Ibe-san or Hisato-san, I won't ever forgive the one who tried to lay a finger on you. I won't. ' He was fire, that sizzles under the spring rain of Izumo. 

"Don' t tense your muscles so much." Eiji said again. For his dismay, the old Ash was speaking, but Eiji had no intention to let him show. 

Ash sat in bed with his legs widely opened, letting Eiji sit between them, his back pressed to Ash's chest. It a moment worth to live for, Ash could wrap his arms around Eiji's skinnier frame and hear the joyful voice of wholesome nature, innocent sparkles of happiness. Then Eiji quickly pulled a some notebooks and started to educate the other. 

"And that 'せ' is the hiragana se, its almost like the katakana's sa, isn't it?" Eiji smiled and asked Ash to write it, while he was playing with Ash's bony fingers and stroking his leg. Soon, Ash got so drowsy by the nurturing voice and the warmth the other's body radiated, that he fell asleep on Eiji's shoulder, still possessively pulling him in his arms. 

Eiji carefully places his head on the pillow, laying on top of him with his hand wrapped around the other's gorgeous little curve at his lower back, intimately kissing his lips until they were wet. Then Eiji drifted off too, lulled by the quietness of the morning hours and the steady breathing of his sworn lover and soulmate. 

After a moment, Ash opened his eyes, stroking Eiji's cheeks and kissing his forehead, still burning to bones inside his cool face. He the pulled the you ger closer, and closed his eyes too to get some sleep. 

'Me and Hisato-san have so much to talk about.' He thought with a smirk, knowing that nothing can wash out his personality anymore, nor his love for Eiji. Then he went to sleep too, cuddling the one he loves the most to his chest, and like cherry color, their love bloomed and embarked on a new chapter of their life together in Japan. Together.


End file.
